Just this morning I realized it had been a  week since I’d had that thought hit my brain.  A continuous stream of the daily mundane.“I need to stop and pick up avocado for the store.”

“I need to do a marketing plan for the breakfast menu.”

“I need to see who wants to ride tomorrow morning.”

“If I put a bullet in my head, all this stress would go away.”

“I need to stop and get gas.”

I realized it had been a week as I have had that thought every day at some point for years.

Before you commit me to supervised care, know that it is almost immediately followed by “I’d never do that to my family and friends.”  Always. I also never have and never will own a gun. What you need to know is that I have it. That maybe most of us do. Once I take a moment, I also realize that I have it good.  I have a loving wife and healthy happy kids. Supportive friends and family.

I imagine that I have suffered from some sort of depression since I was in 8th grade. But again, I think most of us do. What you need to know is that it’s likely more of the norm than the exception.

What you need to know is that these thoughts combined with alcohol and medications can push people over the edge.

What you need to know is that some people can’t stop and reset and realize they have it pretty damn good.

What you need to know is that even the so called “successful and happy,” amongst us are just as fraught.  We have the same thoughts as those that do it. We just don’t. What you need to know is that suicide is never the option.  Ever.  Reach out to someone, anyone. 

What you need to know is that people are here for you.

#hugsandhi5s