PATRICK FELLOWS

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Light and airy

For about an hour yesterday I wrote at stoplights, at traffic slow downs and in a parking lot. The words came fast and furious. An airing of my personal grievances with myself. I sent it to a friend instead of publishing is because it just felt like a little much. Sometimes it’s good to think for a change. I’m not saying that post may not come out tomorrow, but in internet parlance, it was #toosoon. 

So I stepped away and vowed to try again this morning. To see if my grumpy ass could be a little more light and airy today. 101 words in and I’ve got nothing. I mean my dogs are super cute but I don’t think I need to say much more than that. 

On the dark days, getting light and airy is tough. I know all the things, I have a happy healthy family, I’m healthy and have ample support and opportunity, but when it’s dark, sometimes you flip the light switch and it’s like that old fluorescent light in your garage, you have to flip it on and off 3-27 times in a row to get it to come on. Sometimes on days like that you pack up and agree to try again tomorrow. 

This is okay. Doubling down on whatever’s ailing you and not talking to people for a week. Not okay.

So this morning I’m trying to keep it light and airy. 

Lately I’ve become discouraged with the internet of things to distract and uplift me. News? Nope. Sports? What could top LSU’s season? Nope. Shopping?  Looking at things I’m not going to buy?  Nope. I mean I still like a good football to the groin video, but even that’s growing boring. Music/running? Maybe. But on days when I get up early and run, the thought of another run isn’t enticing. 

So this morning I’m going simple. Coffee. Black. Quiet. Write. Not as light as I’d like but an improvement. I found a box of cereal bars in our warehouse yesterday. Prob give them to the corner boys and girls on my morning drive. Maybe some more coffee and then more creating. 

In the past year it’s this creating that’s kept it lighter a lot of days. There’s so many ways to if you allow it. Some make me cringe (video) and some make me judge (recording music) but the net net is always positive. Putting something out there feels better than not. Even if it’s not as light and airy as I intended. 

Something something, progress over perfection, something something. 

#hugsandhi5s