Every once in awhile I will drop a snippet of an idea in a post and then go back and write about it later.  Well i’ll try to anyway. The reality is that once I’ve moved on, I better have added a lot of the idea or I’m stuck with a snippet of nothing. I usually can’t remember exactly what I was going to say about a thing. 

Other times the idea is great but dated. I found one from 7 years ago titled “5 hours you’re never getting back”. It was about the complete time suck kid’s, (your own and others) birthday parties are.  Clearly this bothered me  a lot in 2011. 

Other times the idea is too big and beyond what I want to chew off in 300-500 words. “We are all freaks” and “On Being New Southern.”  Hell, I’m not sure I could do the latter one in 3 posts let alone one; it turns out I started two about this. 

Some are just a title and others I will have copied and pasted an idea from someone else that resonates with me,  to give my opinion  about it later. Again. If i can remember. If I can’t I’m left to ponder exactly what I thought I’d espouse about when I copy and paste something like this.

“Eddie Vedder grew up with a man he thought was his father and wasn’t; when he found out, he became what film director Cameron Crowe calls “a living Pete Townshend character,” consumed with unresolved hurt.” 

Could be about “unresolved hurt or upon my second reading of this, it may just be about me wondering what a “living Pete Townsend character” even is...besides a deaf old rock guy.  

One thing I see a lot though, is a common theme, repeated. Of me telling the world to “do” to “start”. In my head I say it over and over and over like those little girls in the Shining saying “forever and ever and ever.”

Clearly this is my thing, but in the fog of the  daily chase, I’ll think that I’ve moved on from it a little. Being reminded that’s it’s been there for a decade is at once comforting and scary. 

It’s scary as it reminds me how little we move along and makes me question if it’s related to some sort of hidden childhood occurrence. I say occurrence, because really, this can’t count as traumatic. I say childhood because isn’t that the word always with “trauma” these days?

It’s comforting because it tells me that as much  as it feels like I’m scattered and all over the place a lot of times, that there’s an estuary of consistency to what I say. That a message repeated can make a difference. That,  perhaps, this is what I’m here for. 

To remind you. 

Always. 

That you can and that you should. 

Start again or just keep going.

Poor Eddie Vedder will have to figure his own self out. I’ve got enough on my own. 

#hugsandhi5s