Of late, when the opportunity arises, I've forced myself to slowly roll into the day. To move forward, but maybe with purpose.  If nothing else, with a consideration for the day before it plummets onward. Sometimes this feels like holding myself back against the pulling to move. To do something, anything. 

This morning I walked to the kitchen to get another cup of coffee, still recovering from a very long sleepless week in Auburn, AL. While awake most mornings at 5:15, I have been giving myself time to try to recover, with varying degrees of success. As I crossed the den a notion I've heard espoused for two decades entered my foggy head. It was both a question and a reminder and a proclamation. 

"(What would it mean) to live today like it was your last day!?" 

And/or.

"What would you do today to honor the day with your best?"

"Live today"

The question-statement-ideas gave a moment of pause followed immediately by the reminder that I needed more coffee. 

//

The multi-angular answers, ideas and questions that have poured  forth in the 17 mins since this thought have been interesting. 

Should I go train? Normally I'd say yes but I already made arrangements to run at lunch so there's freedom to let this go this morning. The fact it was one of the first things I considered is telling. The time from 4-6:30 ish is usually mine to do what I want. I usually work out then as if I don't. It doesn't get done. 

Do I tackle the biggest "things" I need to do to give my brains a rest?  The problems I've created via procrastination and just being overcommitted?  

Who can I help today?  How?  This seems to feel more right, while at the same time self serving and cliched. Something something...leave the world a better place...something something. Altruism or just wanting to feel good and be liked for a good deed. Seems logical and also a little bit dirty. It leads to.

How selfish should I be in this endeavor?  Should I do the things I love and let the rest fall where it may?  Maybe play guitar and work on music for a few, train the dog a little?  The thought of music brings back a lyric that highlights this whole thought process. 

I woke the same 

As any other day except a voice was in my head 

It said, "Seize the day 

Pull the trigger, drop the blade and watch the rolling heads"

I'm not a huge Soundgarden fan nor do I have an catalog of lyrics memorized but love the notion of this. Seems a little violent but the intent feels right. We awake and if we aren't asking or thinking, we usually just do the same things and fumble through the morning. Unawares. Spinning the same plates. Starting more. 

//

So what did I do?  

First, I took my coffee back to my room and got back in bed. I finished the chapter of a book I'd started yesterday sometime. 

I sat down and wrote in the title of this post and I began to write, fighting off the pull to stop and start physically doing things. 

I considered the things happening in the world for a moment and realized that no matter what I did, I couldn't affect anything about any of it, and let it go. 

I pet the dog. 

I considered what I could actually do for someone else today and without a  clear plan, agreed to keep my eyes open and be diligent in seeing opportunities. 

I agreed to keep the best attitude I could in my work today. To lift.  

I agreed to train hard and or with focus and purpose. To not mail it in. 

//

It's incredibly easy to espouse what our attitudes and focus should be. To remind ourselves how incredibly lucky we all mostly are. 

It's also shallow and unrealistic to think that those reminders will totally offset everything that we all have to deal with. Life. Etc. 

Today I hope you can steal a little time and do something that gives this day. One of the few you have here, some purpose. 

Whatever that means for you. 

#hugsandhi5s