I’ve been plugging away this morning. My goal was simple. Don’t write about this bullshit happening right now. Talk about something else. Anything else. But I can’t seem to. I can’t seem to get away from “these trying times”. So I’ll give comment.

Besides the utter collapse of my businesses, which is kind of a bummer. The next biggest issue I have is…well, there’s possibly getting me or someone else sick. Hang on. So third thing that is really grinding my gears, besides staying inside. For real, the very next thing is the prolific use of doomsday interludes in speaking and writing.

I mean I got you to open this with “in these trying times,’ as if that heading is to prepare you for something profound. All times are trying to someone. When someone leads with this, I want to get violent.

”Historic times,” comes next. Every passed second is immediately “history,’ you aren’t being clever, and I’ll remember these times forever, because that’s how long it will take me to get out from under the economic shit show that’s slow rolling towards us all. Historic? Technically yes. It all depends on what we are comparing it to I guess.

Finally, the one that makes me want to go mental is “new normal”. “This is our new normal” they say. I’ve heard I need to adapt to it, because this is how it will be. No. This isn’t how it will be. That too is an impossibility. I can’t lose it all every day from now on. I did that on Friday. I’m digging in and being defiant or I’m going to be asked to lose a limb or something. If we are deciding on “new normals” I want to be a rock star and sell a gazillion albums. This is a normal I can get behind.

I get it. People are scared and everything is unknown. but adding doomsday words and trying to make things sound bigger and more ominous, doesn’t do us any favors. It just adds another layer of tenseness and anxiety to an already “trying time”. See what I did there. Got you.

As I want to be a man of solutions, I feel an obligation to. at the least, give you some solid options for you to use when talking about where we all are without using the aforementioned doomsday corporate speak.

Instead of “in these trying times” you can lead in with “This morning,” or “this afternoon”. Both of those are “times”.

For “historic times”, I like trying to dress it up cutesy style with options like “coronageddon”, “shitshow sunday,’ “free beer friday” and or “tremendous tuesday”. Actuall, eel free to use these anytime. They don’t make a ton of sense, but they are fun.

Finally, for “new normal”, just don’t. I’m not sure if it’s an oxymoron or what, but it makes you sound like a moron, and that's real. You don’t want that to be your “normal”.

PS-that’s 4 mins of your day you aren’t getting back. Not sorry.

#hugsandhi5s