LISTEN TO YOUR MOM
I’d spewed forth 197 words of negativity before I stopped and started over. My pain and aggravation and answer seeking put forth in white words on a black backdrop. I re-read it, paused, then hit close and started anew. Sometimes it’s good to take that old mom advice of not saying anything at all if you don’t have anything nice to say. I saved those 197 words for a later look, with a little distance and some reflection.
I go back from time to time and find posts from the last year or so where I am the most negative. I try and remember what I was feeling on those days and why. A lot of times the words can take me back, but an equal amount of times they can’t conjure those whys up. Which is telling. This too shall pass.
Space and time (not like science but I guess like science) burn away most of our strife if we let it. I mean my worldview can do a complete 180 in the span of 12 hours. I just have to open myself to it and let it melt. Sometimes a run or exercise fans that fire and expedites the process. Sometimes.
I tend to think and write in batches of ideas surrounding a theme. 5 posts about Ironman while I’m at Ironman, randomness in the heat of summer, introspection at the New Year. I guess that’s only natural, but it’s good to let up when you’re beating a dead horse as it tends to make a mess in the den. So I am constantly trying to stay open to new ideas or to revisit old ones. Old ones like “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
If I’m true to the words that titles this blog, I do hope what I write about makes you think and applies to your life. I know I say a lot of what you’re saying internally or you wouldn’t come back. Honesty and vulnerability apparently (and thankfully) never go out of style. That’s also good to remember when choosing your words.
A friend recently told me and I paraphrase, that “honesty is great but not if it hurts someone’s feelings.” This one has me torn. I think the line of honesty I deal in can be hurtful and sometimes we need that hurt to shake ourselves out of poor behavior and to see the reality of the choices we are making. It was a good reminder that while the velvet hammer is a positive life weapon to yield more often than not. It can still smash glass.
Many times over I’ve talked about the importance of stopping and thinking. Never is this practice more valuable than when dealing with the words and ideas we choose to give life to. Will these words bring positivity or negativity? Are they an overstatement of the obvious meant to make someone feel stupid? Is it necessary for me to bitch about this publicly (think social media rants about stupid shit)?
Stop.
Consider.
Save for later reflection.
#hugsandhi5s