You owe it to yourself to push through. No one ever said that things are going to be easy. It’s about not giving in when faced with the immense power of. “Meh, I’ll just do it later.”  

Yeah that was anticlimactic, but that’s because the things that derail progress always are. You set a goal you get moving. Things are looking pretty good and then one morning you just don’t wanna. 

The first time it happens you rally. You understand that this would come sooner or later, and you’ve been prepared. You power through. You remind yourself that you always feel better when you get done. 

The next time it comes it gets a little more difficult. You’ve been consistent, you deserve a day off or a break. I mean you can’t be expected to be perfect. Luckily there’s a little bit of guilt or gumption or whatever that gets you going and you continue on. 

Then one morning you just sit there. Blank. No will. No energy. No drive. You just “don’t wanna”. You’re like a giant toddler staring at an insurmountable plate of broccoli and you can’t be convinced of one bite. You defy yourself. You purse your lips and turn your face away. “If you think I’m eating that broccoli, you’ve lost your fucking mind,” says toddler you. 

In these moments it’s important to realize you’re in them. I didn’t want any broccoli this morning. I said, “You’ve written for a week or so straight. You could do a post later today and see if there’s more interaction in the afternoon as opposed to the morning.”  “You’re repeating yourself,” and “Let me guess, pandemic times are weird.” I stared blankly ahead, lips still pursed. Still not wanna-ing. 

Then I opened a new page and did it anyway. It’s just an inner toddler after all. Yes, I know the will of a two and a half year old is stronger than the combined superpowers of all those Marvel movies. And yes I know that the inner toddler still lives in all of us. I mean I’ve been watching the recent nuanced Facebook debates.  But every parent knows how to outlast a toddler. 

As you go forward today and every day, know you’ve got a spaghetti throwing, wall drawing turd living just under the surface, waiting to defy the goals you’ve set for yourself. He doesn’t wanna some days. Those are the days you must decide to break their spirit. To outlast them and leave them at the table staring at the broccoli until they decide “Fuck it. I’m not getting another episode of Dragon Tales or Teletubbies until I eat this shit.”  

You slowly pick up the first piece and get your life back on track. 

Like I just did. 

#hugsandhi5s