PATRICK FELLOWS

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Old AF

PRO LEVEL SIDE EYE.

Been almost a week into my 49th year and old shit is happening to me. No mailers for AARP or anything yet, but I think I lost my sight by 30% and I can’t hear. This is mostly because of recently playing a lot of loud music, but whatever. Old is old.

I have chronicled in the past that I’m an avid body shaver. Hair is gross, therefore, I have removed it. Today’s old guy realization is that I am shaving my legs like a complete asshole. I have errant landing strips going every which way across my shins and calves. I’d blame it on my eyes, but you shave by feel, not sight. Maybe getting old has just made me lazy. Regardless, terrible at shaving.

I am getting really good at drinking coffee and yelling shit at no one. I’m not sure if that’s an age thing, but I like it.

There is some good news…wait no that was the dog.

I’m kidding. Getting old isn’t bad. I’m really not that old. I’m also very cognizant of many people my age who have a lot of health problems, or that are dead. So really I’m kind of just making light.

I truly am of the belief that we can combat age by mentality and disregard. I’ve ignored things like my sight for over a year and a half, and for a while there, I forgot I couldn’t see for shit anymore. See, the power of positive thought.

So tonight, I’ll go to bed early, so I can get up early and yell at the XC kids who could be my kids, and think to myself, I’m pretty much just a hairless them.

#hugsandhi5s