Fear thee not. This won’t be about you, kind of. I mean everything’s kind of about you. While I had the attention of a few of you I thought it might be a good idea to tell you what you’re getting yourself into by following me and this blog. This can be like a PF 101. Saddle up. I’ve got all morning. 

I come from a long line of hunters and outdoorsmen. Men’s men and such. Eat what you kill and that kind of stuff.…..I mean I can’t keep that lie going for even a sentence. I’ve killed a woodpecker once in 1985. With a shotgun. Pretty even fight I think. I think I got a squirrel that day too. Man’s man.  If that’s what you’re looking for, look elsewhere.

Really this is more of a worn welcome mat to the insides of my brain. Don’t worry, I’m not one of those psychos who makes you take off your shoes when you come into my house. Wipe off the dog poop as best you can and let’s go!

If you’re here because I wrote a clever minivan ad, welcome. Consider that the lil taste of the crack cocaine that is my ramblings. Like all gateway drugs, it ain’t all highs. 

I’m a 49 year old guy from Baton Rouge, LA. Happily married for 19 years, though some of your offers to marry me off to your sisters gave me pause.  Two kids, two dogs. I like long walks on the beach, bubble baths and puppy breath. Dislikes: Mean people. I own two heathy salad restaurants, FRESHJUNKIE, and am a part owner of an even company, FRESHJUNKIE Racing, that puts on marathons and triathlons. I like to exercise a lot, mostly triathlons and running and occasionally I partake in random feats of strength that include swimming 32 miles. And I write.

The writing is why you’re likely here and that makes me happy. I’ve been writing for a while, the last 20 months or so in earnest, which is a fancy way to say “a lot”. I do think I’m damn funny and sometimes the writing reflects that. Most days though, it’s about regular old life. The things I think. The little wars we all fight.  I tell you it’s okay to fight them. To not be perfect. To try again. To let you know we all fight them. I’ll tell you to get off your ass and exercise, because that matters. I’ll also tell you over and over to START, anywhere. That waiting is a waste.

I’ll wax nostalgic about music and the 80’s, because that’s where I’m from. Not in a leg warmers, Olivia Newton John kinda way, but maybe tinged with some of that, because that’s the good stuff. I love nostalgia and some days you’ll get some.

I’m anti politics and religion for the most part, but occasionally I’ll say some things that you won’t like about both. That doesn’t make me the enemy, it means I have opinions, which are in fact like assholes.

I get up early and drink lots of coffee and I write on most days. Whatever comes to mind first. I almost always hit send and you get to decide if I’m a rambling old moron or the poor man’s Tony Robbins. 

Pretty simple and straightforward. I put a random selfie on each post as the ultimate clickbait. Like the one here. “Is he picking his nose? What is this post going to be about?” you ask.

Oh and I sometimes post pics of me running around in a speedo. Almost forgot. 

Here’s a list of some of my favorite posts, a starter kit. It starts with a post that really kicked things off. You had nothing better to do this morning anyhow.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

QUIT PUTTIN MAYO ON MY SANDWICHES…A RANT

JANUARY

HANGING WITH THE STATE POLICE

Finally, I close every post with #hugsandhi5s and even despite the Coronageddon, still give both. YOLO!!!

#hugsandhi5s