I picked up a guitar for the first time in 1985. Our exchange student Marc had one and I learned like one chord. I didn’t rush out and buy one nor did I become mesmerized by it. I got a keyboard that year for Christmas and underachieved at that too. Eventually a couple of years later I got back into music but not on my first try. 

To that end I don’t remember the first time I heard Van Halen, but it had to be during swim team outings and for sure in 6th grade when Richard Mueller played Diver Down for me. Lonnie Ray and the senior A relay declared Everybody Wants Some off of Women and Children First was their relay song, I remember that as clear as I remember anything. This was the first in a lifetime of having people downplay the current hits (Jump etc.) for what they deemed as more classic hits  of a band so as to shame the bandwagon and new fans. Solid strategy. 

I wasn’t an Eddie Van Halen “fan” per se. I mean I loved watching Hot for Teacher on MTV for the hot teachers mostly, something that seemed like a dreamland scenario when I looked at the ladies shaping my young mind. 

None of this is to downplay the mastery of Eddie. Quite the contrary. He single handedly changed rock guitar. So much so that I couldn’t fathom playing one thing by him. It was so far beyond my musical ability that I never even tried. 

Instead, Van Halen became my rallying cry of the last 10 years or so. To me they encapsulate the bombast of the 80’s perfectly. They were rock, but fun and unapologetic. It’s not often that the virtuoso of a generation is that fun. In fact. Name another.  80’s VH was fun. Still is. 

I clarify 80’s VH because despite his best try, 90’s Van Hagar on the other hand feels flat and serious, Sammy Hagar’s forced tequila persona pales against the unhinged glow of David Lee Roth. The jumps. The kicks. The shrieks. The incoherent interviews. All of it made 80’s VH superior to 90’s. 

Panama still sits very high in my list of all time great songs. I won’t break it down. Listen to it. Loudly. You don’t need any other explanation. I try and play it at the start of our races when I’m at the helm of the sound system. If I have space, I do a David Lee Roth leg kick, as is required by me. I have 6 guitars. I still can’t play a note and have never even tried. Sometimes we should just enjoy things. 

In 2014 a friend asked me to be a “dancer” for a Sexual Trauma Awareness fundraiser called Hunks in Heels. We were to pick a song and traipse around in 5-6 inch custom high heeled shoes, as a way of “walking a mile in her shoes”.  I chose Panama as my song and did a high kick in 5 in heels, somehow not breaking an ankle. I sang every word and performed it like it should have been. I sang at the top of my lungs (with no mic, thank god) but loud enough that in phone videos from the time you could hear me over the music. 

That’s VH and that’s the part of the 80’s I want to represent. No, not the cocaine and alcoholic debauchery that they may have lived. I want the virtuosic rift, the driving drums, the jumps, the spandex, the hair. The raw awesome. 

Thanks EVH,for being the catalyst for that. Turn it up today and live a little. 

#hugsandhi5s