There’s a rustle in the corner. One part wheeze in, two parts rattle out. It’s like a sleep machine that changes its tune every night to whatever the beagle decides to exhale. It can be just as soothing, or keep you up all night. Just depends on the way the dogs nostrils lie. 

I started this morning and allowed my brain to just unload what it needed into words. A sniveling, whiny ass bitch session rolled out. I stopped. I went back and looked at a post I’d started three days ago and it was a mirror of today. I’m stressed. You’re stressed. We’re all stressed. It’s like the opposite of “I’m okay, you’re okay.”

We aren’t okay. 

Well, technically we’re fine, most of us anyway and that’s the point. We are all fine. This is fine. Everything is fine.  Shit. There I go again...

As I reset again I want to let you  know this. It’s okay to be a little not okay right now. Don’t be a lot not okay though. That just makes it worse. 

For me, I’m stuck in a cycle of wonder. Not the awe inspiring kind. Of a constant wondering of what I should do.  What i should do today, tomorrow, with my business if I can reopen, if I should be capitalizing now on something, where’s the silver long and opportunity here, and over and over and winding up and up. 

So I walk to the pantry. Open.  You aren’t hungry. Close. Back outside, inside, turn the TV on then off. 

Nothing seems to be able to occupy my mind for too long and it can be a little maddening. 

I’m not the best planner in the world, but I am a pretty good attacker and problem solver. I’ll likely figure out the way at some point so I am trying to remain open. To everything. I have to be open because there’s nothing to just “do about it,” right now. A classic, “hurry up and wait,” if there ever was one

You need to know that if you feel this it’s probably because of the unknown. How much longer?  What will things be like?  Will we just go back to “everyday”?  

The unknown limits how we set goals and how we attack the  problems because the targets are in constant motion right now. 

The thing I came up with for me this morning is to aim closer. 

For some, long term planning may be an option. For most, though, long term is “what am I going to have for lunch?”

Like most times, I’ll say to pick one thing this morning. Make it positive. When you get through with it. Pick another simple thing. 

Do that. 

Keep on keeping on good folks. 

#hugsandhi5s