As things usually go, there are lulls in the flow of ideas. Some days. I pull over because something full and complete comes to me. Others, like the last couple of weeks, there’s not a lot. This usually coincides with a high level of distraction or anxiety or both. It’s then (now) that I need patience.  

Patience used to be my least strong trait. Perhaps my newfound level of patience isn’t really that patient still. But for me it’s something. I think a lack of it is one of the “D’s” in the ADHD but I’m not 100% sure. Something something impulse control something something.  If nothing, I’ve learned to wait and am more often than not the cause of someone honking .03 milliseconds after the light turns green than the person honking. Or maybe I’ve become less of an asshole. Either way, an improvement. 

Everyone can have patience, it’s the employment of it that matters. As I get older I feel like I can at least consider the long game with a lot more things. It’s still about decision making but it’s been in the learning on how to not want everything to happen all at once. I’m still not admitting I’m an adult, but I know that I don’t have to jump on every choice immediately and run headlong down the path. There may be quicksand down there. There was a lot of quicksand back in the day. Now there’s multilevel marketing.

I actually kind of like the ability to practice some patience these days. Mostly because it’s a willful act of slowing things down and considering, two things we should all do more of. It’s about asking questions and looking at my motives, which ultimately define who I am. I imagine the truly patient can turn this exercise into paralysis by analysis, but thankfully I’m still half governed by the shining thing chaser, the internal lizard within. Some would call this balance. I call it luck. Take what you can get. 

A year or so ago I sat here in the dark and questioned my ability to come up with new big ideas every day. I felt like if this thing didn’t deliver something earthmoving everyday that I was letting you , and in turn, me, down.  That without big thoughts this became mundane. What I’ve learned (possibly through patience) is the things I know through every other successful endeavor I have embarked on. It’s the simple things that matter. The chance to start again. That showing up every day matters. That we all struggle with a lot of the same things. It’s the retelling of the same story. This is because even when improving and making change, we remain mostly unmoved. 

I thought about this the other day while considering people’s election picks.  We don’t really change quickly. Ideas and ideals grow and die with age, but it’s a lot like turning the titanic. We are going to be here awhile. So in place of sharp quick turns we must learn patience in some form, lest we just seethe and rot away from within. 

Sure. We’d all love to move to a cabin in the mountains and not have to deal. Until then, ask questions. Consider. Slow down, and be patient. 

#hugsandhi5s