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Patrick Fellows is a 5 time Ironman, TEDx giving, 32 miles swimming, endurance coaching, healthy cooking, entrepreneur and musician.  Born in Dearborn, MI, raised in Mississippi and a Louisianian for 30 years, 

And you may say to yourself, "My God! What have I done?"

And you may say to yourself, "My God! What have I done?"

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I write some words, you read and think “how can he say what I am thinking?” You listen to a song, and the wavelengths seem the same. This is how I think, this is how they think, this was written for me. Sometimes it’s so uncanny it makes your skin crawl. As crazily unique each of us are, we are all tied to similar emotions and needs. The need to be loved, the need to belong, the need to be heard and understood. I’d argue that for the most part, none of feel like we know what we are doing. Fake it till you make it is more than a cliche. Sometimes it’s the way. Luckily, I’m not a surgeon.

Imposter syndrome is a thing. Most of us feel it in some way shape or form. I know I do. That feeling that you have no clue what you are doing combined with a sneaking suspicion that you’ve faked out the world and that pretty soon someone’s going to say, “Hey Fellows, I’m going to see your writing certificates because I think you slipped through the cracks.” If they ever come for me, I’ve been practicing a dull stare combined with a slow back up. Slowly, very slow, RUN!!!!!!!!

It’s an interesting thing. You may have a degree in micro biology and know more about it than anyone else in the world, and yet still you may ask yourself, how did I get here?! Because being an imposter has nothing to do with knowledge or ability. It has to do with doubt. And doubt we have in spades. And doubt is just fear.

If we can stifle the downward spiral of thinking for a moment and step out of the doubt, what I find almost every time is that depending on the situation I have inserted myself into, usually, I am at the least as capable, if not more so than my peers at the given activity. You are too, or you wouldn’t have a job doing what you are doing. Of course there are exceptions, because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to say “Ted from accounting doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.” Just hope to god you aren’t Ted.

Seriously though, self doubt can be a bitch, but you can fight it. For me it’s about trying to step out of the situation and be objective. Easy to say, functional if you can do it. Ask yourself, “Who is better at this situation than I?” You may find someone out there, but likely not many. Give yourself some credit. Don’t sell yourself short, You’re a helluva slouch.

Now back to doubting that I am qualified to be writing or giving you any advice on anything.

#hugsandhi5s

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What's a friend anyhow?

What's a friend anyhow?