SLIDES AWAY

Gone are the holi-days. The syrupy drip of December 28th which could have been a Friday. Or a Monday. It was no matter. The worlds tire pressure lowered to the point of a softer, less jarring ride. I stop and wonder the etymology of "holidays", as once incorrectly hyphenated, it looks like it could be short for holy days. They were holy you know. They are.

As January slides away I again feel the accelerated sliding of time in general. The ultimate paradox of realizing we had it better when we were younger and we couldn't make it go fast enough. "Hurry! I need to grow up." Now I just want to pump the brakes on Tuesday and figure out how to elongate the mornings. My best time.

Why is 4 am-6:30 am different from say 10 pm-12:30? I mean, it’s not any darker? Is it because the collective hum of the world lowers when it falls asleep?  This seems right.

I declare it's right and all is right.

//

This morning there's an extra hum outside. Brown noise that's soothing but sort of alarming. Like a heater kicked on or a million dump trucks are rolling down the 5 lane boulevard, one point seven miles from my house. It reminds me of the days when the power goes out after a hurricane. A low omnipresent hum, more evident due to more silence. It's not loud but it seems to shake the house ever so slightly. A sound machine for the whole world.

I stop writing for a moment to check the news. Did something explode in the night and is now just smoldering?

All is well. Well, not really, but no explosions.

//

I return and try and refocus myself. To those salad days at the end of December. Where everything and anything was possible. January has been positive for sure. I've achieved. Celebrated. Been abundantly successful on any persons litmus. But I can feel the sliding. The deals made for my time and for what I'm capable of. I have made progress. I have done better to keep the pursuit of perfection at bay.

I've allowed listlessness not derail and I’ve made responsible concessions. When there's too much and the December things seem far away, I've agreed to realism and to let the moment and necessity take its course and agreed to start again when there's time.

Today. There is time. So I am here.

A part time practitioner of yoga, I am always conflicted by the notion of intention. A lot of times it seems overblown and too "new age-y" for me. All that heart center, grounded to the earth stuff. That's for "you people", I'm different. But some days the breathing brings the slow. I never yoga for the workout. I always yoga to try and slow. For the breathe. Yesterday I got a little. Enough to remind me to return.

I think if there's an over arching theme today. That's it.

A reminder to slow down.

To reflect back to the end of December.

To center yourself and feel that feeling you had when it didn't seems like the days were sliding away from underneath.

To let yourself soak in the low hum of the morning or the day.

To close your eyes for a moment.

And breathe.

#hugsandhi5s