Yesterday I had the pleasure of joining Randa Patrick, a coaching client for the last six years and Carey Guglielmo on his podcast, The Brand BR. (I’ll put a link at the bottom of this post and in the bio). It was a cool conversation in which we discussed training, how it affects daily life, the role of goals as well as diet and entrepreneurship. A wide range for sure. During the discussion I made a reply to the question “Why one more?” The “one” meaning Ironman or a marathon. In no uncertain terms I stated that “Because I live life mostly unsatisfied.”
As I said that I knew I’d have to clarify and quantify in some way and I think I did a decent job. It’s about raising the bar and pushing yourself and all the other cliches. There’s also a deeper point to it though that has real ramifications in day to day life. I truly don’t allow myself to find joy in enough because I constantly question and refuse to accept whatever I am doing or whatever I am experiencing as enough.
I didn’t write any sort of a race report for IMFL last weekend. Partly because my breakdown of those races always read like an excuse somewhere along the way, regardless if that’s my intent. Race day may be the culmination and the stick we measure with, but the previous 4-5 months of work is the real reward. Race day is always anticlimactic for me and therefore reporting on it comes off the same. When I was finished I was unsatisfied. Mostly with the results. Also with the fact that Midgets with Attitude weren’t doing a show in Panama City Beach that night.
Don’t get me wrong though. I’m not going to recommend a life of dissatisfaction. It can be exhausting and if practiced diligently, make you a fun sponge to be around. Lately I’ve tried to be aware of it and at the least pan my focus out a little and be cognizant of accomplishment and positive steps. Recognizing that you are doing well or achieving is the first step to giving yourself some credit for it. So it’s a start.
If I step back and look at my cluttered office with unopened mail and a to do list that’s unorganized and not very “to done”, though, it’s easy to look at my life as a half assed affair. When I cross the finish line at Ironman, I also think about that desk and go “You got 545th, you are underperforming both here and in other areas. Celebrate when you nail it all. Not now.” But what if nailing it now never comes? Am I to just be unsatisfied? Seems like a hard way to live this life.
So, in an effort to take a little credit. Here’s my report on IMFL. Probably shorter than you want, but you get what you get.
Pre-race- a good friend from my Mizuno days came and hung out for the race. Pretty cool for Rod Foley to do that. I still cherish my friends from that 6.5 years.
Race morning-told some Euro who was clogged in the same line as me who was adamant that he “had to get to the front of a line that wasn’t moving.” That he could get there “right the fuck after me.”
Swim-first loop 28 mins. Saw three jellyfish and many unprepared triathletes. Mind wasn’t in the second loop. Came out in an hour and change. Unsatisfied.
T1- thankfully nudity free.
BIKE. Windy and wanted it to be over at mile 6. Kept riding the next 106 because forward was the way off the course. Agreed to not decide anything on the run until mike 4.
T2- one naked Euro aka too much visible ass.
Run-legs felt great. First four miles and nothing to decide. Make the turn at the half under 4 hour pace.
Second half marathon, mysteriously pee 10 times and am convinced I’m getting Rhabdomyolysis. Sit on back of one guy for last 2 miles and finish. Disappointed, but without rabdo. I’ll live to compete again.
Post race. Grabbed a couple beers and a burrito with Rod and my mom. Feel pretty good.
Captivating, I know.
On to the desk full of unopened mail. The real Ironman.
THE BRAND BR
#hugsandhi5s
