They Say that the Road Ain't no Place to Start a Family

Do kids these days have songs?  I feel like they probably do, but as has been documented a million times here, I am extremely old and kids these days with their autotune, rap music and songs that repeat the same line 700 times can’t begin to fathom the power of a late night call in dedication.  Or maybe they just send a link. Like I said, how am I to know, I only grew up during the most glorious time in history. Ah….the 80’s.

I wondered this yesterday as I turned on the radio in my van.  I am mostly a modern man and listen to Spotify all day, but I dropped my phone out of my van this week and have been without (praise Baby Jesus) all week.  Yesterday I looked and unbeknownst to me, the van I have is both equipped with XM radio AND apparently the dealership I bought it from has been paying the bill for the last 3+ years.  BONUS! Anyhow, I opened it and it was on the 80’s station and within 4 seconds Faithfully, by Journey came on. I thought “Do bands even write songs about the road anymore?” followed immediately with, “I wonder if kids have ‘their song’ still?”

I mean the logical thing to do would be to just ask my kids, but they don’t tell me crap about boyfriends and girlfriends for fear of extreme mocking and grief.  I am a dad after all. So instead, I’ll just wonder.

What I do know, is that asshat Drake can’t begin to touch the heartfelt emotion of Faithfully, or Beth by KISS, or Save a Prayer, by Duran Duran.  Want me to keep going? Because I will.

One great thing about the 80’s was this balance of over the top love songs that still were dripping from the salty goodness of yacht rock, combined with layers upon layers of synthesizers and soaring vocals.  While the 30 years after have had huge numbers of great female vocalists, nothing has touched the rock vocals from Journey and Boston through the hair bands of 90’s. Yeah, the songs were mostly about doing blow with hookers for a lot of the late 80’s songs, but Jani Lane of Warrant sang about it with conviction.  Per usual, I have digressed.

They do say the road is no place to start a family, and though I’ve never been on the road, Steve Perry makes me believe it.  I can see him in a bus driving across the Arizona desert wondering where he is, lost without someone. I just hope Drake is lost somewhere in the desert.  Never to return to tell me about Kiki anymore.

So this Memorial Day weekend, start out with some 80’s love songs and think about how you’d feel if Kasey Kasem read out your “long distance dedication,” on American Top 40 this Saturday morning...and for you damn kids, google Kasey Kasem.

#hugsandhi5s