I know my moments of joyfulness seem few and far between, but really I’m not that morose. Just this weekend I had a moment. While I won’t say it was overwhelming joy, it was at the least, a moment of recognition and maybe a smidge of pride.
In between the lines of these posts I have done a lot of soul searching. Maybe too much baring for some and for others said the right or wrong thing at the right or wrong time. My little moment though was none of that. It was the realization that I have done so without trying to “write” like anyone else. That I have accepted my method, my thoughts and most of my content simply as it is. As mostly good enough and as genuinely me. That’s a pretty good feeling.
I didn’t start this with any real agenda nor have I been able to narrow one down over time. The tag line on the blog says “I write the things I think, I hope they make your world better.” I truly mean that.
I have over time tried to proof read a little bit better and there have been times when I shelve a though and come back to it or let it rest and revisit, but mostly, I get up. I have coffee. I wrote. I find a ridiculous picture and I post. Sometimes by lunch, I’ll have to go back and read it just to see what I had said.
Of course there have been some regrets along the way, but by and large there hasn’t been a lot of comparison to others and feelings of “this isn’t good enough.” Or that I am not a good enough writer or any of that. That’s a good feeling. That I recognized it feels even better.
Maybe I’m a fragile, insecure little punk, but most days I am all of us. Fraught with idiocy and worrying about things that don’t matter. I feel the strength of this blog is to share those feelings with the world so that if you’re feeling them, you know you’re not alone.
Somewhere along the way it was decided by someone that we should have it all together by certain arbitrary points in our life. It just isn’t so. There will be flashes of this and you can feed off their power if you don’t blink. But a lot of life is wondering if your doing it right.
We all wonder that.
You have something in you that’s just like me seeing my writing as “good enough as is”. It may be your biscuit recipe, the way you sooth a friend or child, something.
Everyone has something that makes them feel good enough. You just have to keep your eyes open.
The flashes come quickly.
#hugsandhi5s
