OH HEY, YOU’RE STILL HERE!

In the words of early 2000's nü metal band,  Staind "and It's been awhile...". This is the first and last time I'll ever quote a nü metal band, but the umlauts are fun. So. Here we are. 

The last month of not writing has been, well, I've needed to write and haven't. It's easy once the habit is broken. Each day piles on to the next and if I'm honest, the drive to write kinda goes away. A shame really. In February I felt like I could make a go as a writer. By June the stream had faltered to a trickle until it just stopped. 

A bit has happened since my last post. A new puppy, I turned 50. You know. Life stuff. But I haven't felt the need to talk about much here. I have done some work on a few characters for a possible book, and that's been fun. I'm also tidying up a long post that I've been saying I'd share for awhile but nothing day to day. 

I am currently in a cool little town in Western North Carolina called Black Mountain. I've brought 12 of the xc kids I coach up here for an impromptu running camp. I think the kids call this a "flex". I call it a "sick brag" but nonetheless I'm up here running in 70 degree temps while Baton Rouge melts and slides into the Gulf, eventually. It's nice. I like it. 

Summers are a welcome reprieve from the chaos of "real life" for the most part but this year is different in that I'm also prepping for my daughter to go to college. Exciting and certainly a "how did this happen?" time. 

That's kinda the overwhelming feeling of the last few months. "How did this all happen?"  Upon the approach of my 50th I was disgruntled as I usually am for birthdays but with no good reason other than, "my god, where has the time gone?"  That's life though right?  We keep waiting and waiting for something to change. For the time to be just right to do something. "Next year." We say. 

Then ten next years have passed.

I'm not especially fraught by this. I'm just done with wasting time on stupid shit. 

I told a friend just yesterday that "none of this shit matters."  I feel like this is correct but at the same time we have to state that it also all seems to matter. That "this shit" is everything. This duality is hard, but is the crux to being content I think. To live through and within all this shit we call life with the ability to try and not take it all so seriously. Our lives a blink in the universe and time. Of course it all matters because it's all we've got. If you were wondering, I'm still complicated. So not a lot has changed. 

Today I'll be content watching kids run up mountain roads, drink some coffee while not in some sub equatorial climate and be thankful to have jotted down a few words for the masses today. 

I hope you and yours are well. 

#hugsandhi5s