There’s a power to the written word. A freedom to honesty without commitment to it. You can say whatever you want and i do. But you want to feel weird. Read out loud what you’ve written. If it’s right and honest. It will feel uncomfortable. Squirmy. You’ll want to stop. That’s when . You know it’s the real real (that’s what the kids say )
I know this because I’ve had this idea for a podcast for awhile that I spent a few minutes exploring the other day. The premise was simple. This blog is cumbersome. I’m actively searching for ways to share the past posts with you but the current website, while easy to use and navigate, likely works better with one post a week. I’ve averaged 5.87. You time is valuable. You are going for a deep dive into last March and so, you’ll miss this gem “link”
So I thought. “What if I went back through and recorded me reading some of my favorite posts across the last year?” Maybe tie 2-3 together under a common theme? Give some insight into what I thought then and now? Seems simple enough, right?
Sure. Until you do it.
In 1988 I started singing for the first real time in my life. We would put together small bands, play covers, write songs. It was fun and exciting and I was for sure going to be a rock star. My friend had a 4-track recorder and we’d record all the parts to the songs and such. It was sure to land us a deal. Then i heard my voice.
Suffice to say that what you hear in your head ain’t the same as what you hear being played back. Vocal performance is a talent you have to work on and at 16, I hadn’t worked on squat, and you could tell.
I learned over the next 10 years of playing and recording music, the difference between performances. How you’d think you were killing it when recording and when you listened back it fell flat. I learned that a producer can actually pull a great performance out of you and I learned that you have to practice. A lot.
Fast forward 20 ish years and it’s still the same. To be good you have to practice and reading into a mic isn’t much different than singing. You can feel it when it’s right. I’ve started signing a bit again and it too feels like being 16 again in ways. There’s excitement in doing it and reminders that there’s work to do.
I’m still doing it though. I’m still culling through old posts and recording after hours at our office and trying to elicit feeling from a written word. It’s getting there and I know not to wait for perfect to push it out. Sometimes good is enough and you learn through doing and publishing.
Full circle to the beginning of this is honesty and speaking. When I write, there is no filter for getting it out. It comes out. I say (type) it and it is. In real life the speaking aloud of the same ideas is cumbersome. It’s like talking with a friend about how you’re going to tell so and so exactly how you feel but when you’re face to face, the words and ideas lack their sting. They fall out of your face and hit the floor. Out but without power.
I’m not sure if the power comes from the feeling of anonymity people get from hiding behind a keyboard or what, but it’s real. It’s what makes social encounters with people who compliment me on what I write so difficult. It’s like I forgot I said that at 5 am and I’m now faced with accepting/defending/minimizing it because accepting praise for it seems odd. Not wrong. Just odd.
So we will give it a go. I’ll be pushing out the podcast via the newsletter that this machine keeps asking you to sign up for. So either sign up next time it pops up or email me @ patrick@freshjunkie.com and I’ll add you.
#hugsandhi5s
