In my brain, this is sort of a part 2 to the “Once and For All” post from a few weeks ago. A companion piece (that sounds fancy). More times than I can count, I think about what would have to happen for me to be happy with certain projects. Like exactly what would have to happen or what would I have to get done for me to say “I am doing “X” to the absolute best of my ability.”
You can imagine this as well and it probably elicits feelings of excitement, guilt or dread. “I don’t have enough time,” you say, or “I’m stuck and don’t know what to do!”
Now’s the part where I say “quit lying to yourself.” If you thought it important enough, or of the fear of doing it were great enough., you would. We all make the time for what we want to do, and waste away the remainder making excuses. I know. I do it daily.
We all find ourselves at mini crossroads every single day. A million little choices and decisions we make without thinking that guide us through our days. Chores and to dos and projects and work and hobbies all occupy pieces of the day until we fall into bed at night., spent and wondering, “What did we even get done?”
I posited to myself the other day that most of us would be pretty satisfied if we got 1-2 “things” done on a given day. I then wondered if that was enough. Like can I celebrate doing that one thing or am I cutting myself short? Probably a need and a little truth to both.
The time thing is what gets me. I think we have enough time for just about all we want to accomplish and that we waste away or choose to do so many things with our time and then say “we don’t have time,” after watching 2 episodes of Magnum PI.
Take me for example. I get up early not to show off and brag incessantly about it to you (just kidding this is exactly why), but because I l have chosen to place a value upon writing and training. Because I live in a place with a terrible climate the workouts have to happen in the morning most days lest I die a slow melty death. The time from 4:20 ish until 5:15 is uninterrupted dark and quiet and I tend to write my best then. I follow this with breakfast, a shower and then start checking on the restaurant to dos. From 10-2 I chase a little and start sloughing off hours of meager productivity from 12-4 when my brain succumbs to the constant thoughts and then I coach for an hour, come home and cook dinner. By 7:45 I’m nodding off on the couch. This paragraph is a sick brag but also it illustrates choices. The first almost 3 hours of the day I dedicate to myself without shame. If I really wanted to catch up on other things I could do it then. I have simply chosen not to.
Every once in awhile I consider the value of a day through the lens of “use it or lose it”. Catchy memes and inspirational cursive quotes set upon sandy beaches come to mind and are quickly forgotten when the first “crisis” of the day rears it’s head. The whole “live each day like it’s your last August, 21st of 2020” a distant memory. To live each day like it’s your last requires a diligence that’s impossible to maintain as well as an innumerable amount of iPhone reminders reminding me of such.
Thus is the price of excellence. Or at the least the illusion thereof. It may seem impossible, but you just binge watched season 4 of Gilmore Girls, so there’s that.
It’s not impossible. It’s a constant give and take. The art is to maximize what’s important while not beating yourself up too much when you fail almost every single day. That failure is just reality. And life.
You’ll get another chance to live like there’s no tomorrow...
Tomorrow.
#hugsandhi5s
