EASY LISTENING

The last week or so has been edgy. I’d say not because of politics but that’s not right. It’s contributing. I feel like I’ve become evermore dependent on my phone but maybe not how you’d think. I feel like I’m looking for entertainment and information and or engagement and there’s nothing there (surprise!). What I need is some easy listening for the soul. Problem is, I don’t know exactly what that is. 

This is troubling not because of phone dependence as much as input dependence. I am feeling a dissatisfaction with  all the things. Again. Unsurprising, but no less true. Maybe I’m just full, my brain over inputted or just shorting out. 

There’s eleventy million shows on TV and if left to my own devices, I just put Breaking Bad on from the beginning and let it slow roll in the background. The most opposite “file under easy listening” show out there. I flip around for a few minutes in the evenings and turn it off to go read. 

“Go read!! Yes!!” , you say. “Slow down, read a book!”  I am a notorious reader. Sometimes prolific, but always voracious. If I start a book, I ignore everyone and everything until I am done. I block out the world, immerse and finish. This is problematic on a number of fronts, but mostly because it can drive my family insane. Already prone to bouts of silently ignoring, a book takes it next level and doesn’t stop until the book is done. So I approach reading cautiously. 

Speaking of books. While the world slowed down and read lots of them since March, I’ve read exactly zero books during the pandemic. ZERO.  I’m not quite sure why. I do have some by my bed that I attempt to open a couple nights a week but all it does is put me to sleep. 

I have listened to a lot of podcasts and I tell myself that they are filling up the headspace I reserve for books and other informative entertainment. I’ve learned all sorts of things about the world, the most exciting of which is that a bear  and raccoon boner actually have a bone in it AND indigenous people have considered them good luck charms. Not to be outdone, I called my bear boner connection to see about getting one. He couldn’t deliver so I Amazon Primed one. Thanks Bezos! Related, “boner” is an awesome word. 

So here I return, unentertained and worried about my brains, trying not to just have a beer and go to bed. There has to be something.  Easy listening. 

Music should cure it all, but I have long held an interactive relationship with music. If I like a song. I may need to pick up a guitar and play along. I’ve never been able to really do the “background” music thing. If I’m trying to work and listen, I get no work done. If I’m trying to listen and relax I want it louder, diminishing the relaxing quality. I have googled “whip ass yoga” hoping to find some punk rock namaste I struck out. I have snuck in  an iPod shuffle and headphones to an actual yoga class because I needed extra.  None of my choices easy listening. 

So today, with a day finally not full to the brim, I’m going to search. To see if I can read. Or listen with ease. 

And then turn it up to 11 and do yoga or something. 

#hugsandhi5s